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Let go and not look back?

But he was my best friend. We fought. We screamed at each other. We wanted to hit each other. We had misunderstandings. We had times where we didn't talk to each other for days altogether. But we were best friends. 

"He is pathetic! I hate him. He is a nobody to me now. I don't know what he is up to these days. He has become friends with those bitches. I thought he found them stupid, shallow and annoying. Now, he is best friends with THEM? How can he do this to me? He was MY best friend. He lies to me. He doesn't tell me anything anymore. I don't even know him anymore. *sobs* But I miss my best friend. I want him back. NOW!"

 He did come back to me. After all, we were best friends. We had been best friends since forever. He came back. We didn't fight about where we had been and why hadn't been talking to me. I was just happy that he was back. 

"Hey, sorry!", he finally said after over an hour of talking about silly random stuff. "Sorry for what?", I had completely forgotten about how much he had hurt me by vanishing out of my life completely and icing me out of his. "Just sorry", he replied hesitantly and so I forgave him unintentionally. I forgave him just because I had missed him too much and couldn't bear to have another fight with him. I didn't forget about it completely but I did move on.

 He did the same thing again. Got lost in the moment and forgot about the girl who he came back to after all the glitter had worn off. He was too busy being the shiny glittery person. I too, became a glittery shiny person. But, inside I wasn't all that bright and shiny. Inside I still missed my best friend. I had never forgotten about him. I talked about him for hours to my 'rebound' friend. She too, knew all there was to him by now. 

"He would always forget about every single work he had due but he never EVER forgot my birthday..... He was so annoying. He would do the silliest of things....He was a nice guy...." But he wasn't my best friend anymore.

He came back. He hadn't realized that his going away hurt me so much but he always made up for the lost time. He made me feel special and happy. He made me happy. But he wasn't my best friend anymore. My 'rebound' friend had become my best friend. I loved him and I missed him so much that I wanted to cry but I couldn't trust him anymore. I was too hurt by him. I had had enough betrayals and abandonment  from him. I had suffered too much because of him.

I try to let him go. But I can't. I hear that he has been hurt and I want to kill the person who did that to him. I call him up but he doesn't pick up. He is talking to one of his 'glittery' friends about it. He calls me back and doesn't even care to mention it. He talks formally. He becomes one of those people who I barely know. Should I really let him go? Or should I do what I think is right and make him realize how important this friendship really is?
He gave me a lot to remember but I don't want him to become somebody I just remember. I want him to be in my life forever. I love him. I always have but is it time I let go?

Let go and not look back?

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  1. Unknown12 January 2013 at 06:57

    Do what YOU think is right and make him realize how important this friendship really is.
    Let that person know how important he is for you. And if that person simply ignores that fact more than once, then let him go. Don't include him in your life if he doesn't acknowledge your value.

    ^ That's what I think. Do what YOU think is right. And don't be afraid to do it, because you'll never regret it.

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