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Is anybody out there?

Hello again!
No, nothing extravagant has happened to me which has compelled me to return to blogosphere. Not yet.
But I await it.
Unlike common perception, I am not  a very expressive person. I do not spell out my feelings for others to understand. I prefer to keep them to myself. On the contrary, I am not a quiet person either. In fact, I am really talkative. the thing is that I can talk about everything under the sun easily except for my own feelings. That is when I get choked up. Even when I do express them, I prefer to do so wordlessly. I think actions- subtle actions, that is- convey more emotions than words can for words these days are often empty meaningless sounds that bare no significance. Empty promises that never fail to leave me astounded. 
Emotional outbursts scare me, as is with many teenagers. They make me uncomfortable and awkward as I never seem to understand how to respond to them.
Due to this incapability, I bottle all the emotions in me_ not giving them even an inch of space so they reach others. But it's not like I don't want people to know about them, it's just that I don't want to say any of it. I want them to understand but without me telling them, that doesn't leave them much choice now, does it? 
It's just that I don't quite understand how to put such vast emotions, powerful emotions, into mere words. I can't begin to explain my feelings that I feel short of phrases to use to highlight their magnitude.
It's not like I never express these feelings in words.I do but once in a blue moon when cupid's arrows miss their targets. These are brief moments where I become so vulnerable that you could get to confess a murder.
Being a typical leo, I hate being weak. Moreover, I hate other people seeing my weaknesses. People witnessing a lapse in my control is beyond a thing of shame for us leos. Our pride is our guide. 
Yet, with this leo characteristic of mine, I crave for such a moment when my confidence falters and I let some of the hauled emotions out of my heart.

:Too often,going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right,and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent time building.  (Grey's Anatomy)

Dear blog, 
Even though I truly love you for being so open to my words and my thoughts, I don't think letting them out here is sufficient  Time to get out of my circle and let them free, don't you think? Not all but at least some of it.
So I don't know who is reading this or if anybody is at all, but thanks for your patience. 

Later, blog.
much love
Kearty

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