Skip to main content

The Shadow


She's like a shadow. You feel her presence in the dark sometimes when you're scared of the too quiet house. Sometimes she's a little scary too.

But are you scared? No, of course not. She's not there. Of course, she isn't. You're just being stupid. You're nervous because exams are around the corner. You're jittery because of all the caffeine you've ingested during the day.  You're just lonely and getting paranoid.

Sometimes you're scared. Really scared because you know what she can do. Even though you know she's not real. Of course, she isn't. Only stupid people believe those things. Only the weak fall for that crap and you are not weak, You're better than this. You deserve more than that.

So you rise above it all. You work hard and win. You win at everything because that's what you do, right? That's what better people do. They win. Of course, she's not watching you. She isn't there. She can't be now that you're winning because winners don't have to deal with all that. They're better than falling for that nonsense.

You doubt yourself sometimes. You doubt your faith in the fact that she doesn't exist. But you shake your head and go back to winning things. You don't want to start pulling at that thread. You don't want to see her. You don't want her.

One day, randomly you see her. Really see her. You're at home, taking a break from winning things and you look into a mirror. And you see her.

She's smiling smugly just like you do when you win again. She's won too. Only now that you're seeing, you can see she won more than you.

When you fall, you realize that she's been here all along taunting you to win.

Mental health is an important issue to me. A lot of people live in denial and do not seek the help they need. They hide behind fake smiles and snarky remarks. They go out and have a good night, They work hard and become successful, They don't acknowledge their scars because they can't be seen. They're easily hidden. They just go on with her hanging on to their side making stupid comments all the time, They go on without trying to shut her up and get real peace. Because she couldn't possibly shut up, right? Right?

 Sorry for the strangeness.



 Love, 
K



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Nothing

"I had hoped it would all be ok..eventually. But it’s not. And it’s not gonna be. Ever. So I have to go. And it’s why you should too.” “But giving up isn’t-“ “It is.  We tried. It didn’t work so it probably never will.” “But-“ “In case you haven’t noticed yet, trust doesn’t come easily to me. I don’t do second chances and fresh starts. I do goodbyes and after all this time, I’ve become rather good at them.” “Don’t do this. You don’t wanna do this.” “I don’t, I have to. Goodbye, D” And with that I quickly turned on my heel and walked away feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing. As I said, I’ve become rather good at goodbyes. Still here (unfortunately for me) K
Post a Comment
Jump for more>>

Hidden letters : Hope could bring destruction.

You've hurt me a lot. Far more than you think you could've. Your words, your disdain, your disapproval- they've broken me even when I'm at my best. You've taken everything from me by just a condescending look or distasteful comment. You've beat me down. But it is my fault for being so gullible to you- just you, no one else. Gullible to believe you when you say something nice to me or appreciate my work. Gullible enough to think you want the world for me too. Truth is you want the world for only yourself and the rest for me. You may not know it and I may be stupid enough to fall for your manner every single time but I will never forgive you. Especially for these last two years. They've been torture for my pride. I have two more years to go for this torment and then I'll be gone. At least I hope so.  Because if I don't, then I'll break for real. And I'll be gone forever. For real. But that won't be on you, it'll be on me. Just me. ...
Post a Comment
Jump for more>>

Let go and not look back?

But he was my best friend. We fought. We screamed at each other. We wanted to hit each other. We had misunderstandings. We had times where we didn't talk to each other for days altogether. But we were best friends.  "He is pathetic! I hate him. He is a nobody to me now. I don't know what he is up to these days. He has become friends with those bitches. I thought he found them stupid, shallow and annoying. Now, he is best friends with THEM? How can he do this to me? He was MY best friend. He lies to me. He doesn't tell me anything anymore. I don't even know him anymore. *sobs* But I miss my best friend. I want him back. NOW!" He did come back to me. After all, we were best friends. We had been best friends since forever. He came back. We didn't fight about where we had been and why hadn't been talking to me. I was just happy that he was back.  "Hey, sorry!", he finally said after over an hour of talking about silly random stuff. ...
1 comment
Jump for more>>