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To my passing friend

This post is sort of a goodbye to a friend. I know she'll never read it but it's for my own sake. For my own little goodbye.

A,
I'm not gonna pretend that we can keep this up and be BFFs and all that shizz. Cuz that's just not us. We can't work through skype sessions and yearly visits with hugs and kisses and 'how've you been'.
It's been great knowing you and you've been an amazing friend. The kind I needed. The non-drama, non-fluffy, non-commitment friend with all the support but none of the answers. You've seen the other side. The one that comes out AFTER I deal with the other crap. All my friends know that side of me. The one they need to know if they're my friends. How I deal with things, how I am etc etc. But you've seen the other one. The normal me-without the crappy aftermath of everything. With all my friends I've done the feelings thing and solutions thing but with you, I've had to none of that.

Be it meltdowns or breakups or makeups. Parties, sleepovers, drinks or headbanging to metal music we both hate- we've done all the non-drama parts of friendship. You've always been there for me but silently. You were the one who stole half my drinks. EVERY single time. You've stolen three of my favorite shirts. But in return, I do have the scarf you loved to wear with that brown dress your sister bought for you. And I wear that scarf a lot now. But never when I'm with you. I figure, why rub it in?
You've made me cook for you. In YOUR house for YOU. Albeit it was just a grilled sandwich but still. You've covered up the awkward moments with my ex. I've become reluctant-friends with your boyfriend. Who I still don't like, by the way. I once gave you half my chocolate bar. It was a huge bar but still, I generally don't share chocolate.

So I guess we've been great friends. We've wallowed in our misery together and have toasted to eternal hatred of optimism. I remember how you challenged me to be optimistic for a week and find the 'silver lining' in everything and how we both failed on the first day. Our silver linings though, were pretty damn kickass.

So this is to say goodbye to you and and say that I will miss you. I may have said I'm happy for you and the fact that you're moving away is good. But it's really not, in a selfish way. I'm happy that you'll be better but I'll miss you. So this is just to say that I will miss you. I'm happy for you but I will miss you every single time someone brings out the vodka glasses or finds a Pink Floyd CD or burns a birthday cake just a little on the side or steals my pillow from right under my head or meet our mutual groupies. I will miss you. So bye. And I hope you're happy there cuz otherwise, this will be utter bullshit. And I will kick your ass.

Love (mostly non-functional but love all the same)
K
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