Un-synchronized Harmonies

"I had hoped it would all be ok..eventually. But it’s not. And it’s not gonna be. Ever. So I have to go. And it’s why you should too.” “But giving up isn’t-“ “It is.  We tried. It didn’t work so it probably never will.” “But-“ “In case you haven’t noticed yet, trust doesn’t come easily to me. I don’t do second chances and fresh starts. I do goodbyes and after all this time, I’ve become rather good at them.” “Don’t do this. You don’t wanna do this.” “I don’t, I have to. Goodbye, D” And with that I quickly turned on my heel and walked away feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing. As I said, I’ve become rather good at goodbyes. Still here (unfortunately for me) K

This post is sort of a goodbye to a friend. I know she'll never read it but it's for my own sake. For my own little goodbye. A, I'm not gonna pretend that we can keep this up and be BFFs and all that shizz. Cuz that's just not us. We can't work through skype sessions and yearly visits with hugs and kisses and 'how've you been'. It's been great knowing you and you've been an amazing friend. The kind I needed. The non-drama, non-fluffy, non-commitment friend with all the support but none of the answers. You've seen the other side. The one that comes out AFTER I deal with the other crap. All my friends know that side of me. The one they need to know if they're my friends. How I deal with things, how I am etc etc. But you've seen the other one. The normal me-without the crappy aftermath of everything. With all my friends I've done the feelings thing and solutions thing but with you, I've had to none of that. Be it meltdowns...

And so I packed up my bags and left, not turning to look back. Didn't take much with me. Didn't want anything to do with my past. Just a few documents, clothes and some cash to survive. And one photograph in the heart-shaped silver pendant that hung around my neck. I left without saying goodbye. Not that there were any to give. So I took the first flight out and left the town I'd always known. Where I had been my whole life. The only place I knew for sure. I moved to a new city. A big city. Where I could get lost in the sea of faces that walk it every single day. The thing about cities is that they're so full of life yet they lack life. They house people and families but they don't house a community. People say that the city is shallow. Materialistic and oblivious of reality. That cities lack a story. They lack character and depth of spirit. But they don't. Cities simply hide stories well. Better than any town ever could. Cities are full of stories. Ther...

Defying gravity. It's like turning off every light in your room and gazing at the one spot on the wall you can't really see. Or like draining your last cup of coffee with tea leaves left in the end. Or maybe finding out that it's just you here, the rest are just projections of your mind. Or like complete silence outside with just that one voice in your head that doesn't quite seem like your own. They asked us to believe and so we did. Because really, what else did we have? Turning it all off. It's that easy. Or just that difficult. Defying gravity. Defying me. Defying you. It's free falling when there is no bottom. It's ebony and ivory. It's falling and failing and wandering and wondering. It's brilliance and misery all in one. It's clarity and cacophony stringed together. It's peace and war jumbled to form something anew. It's just this. This is all we have and all there can ever be.

He ran his hand across the the shiny wood and remembered all that time he had spent with  his mighty friend. It had been so long, but he could remember the last time he had pressed his fingers on the keys and listened to their heavenly croon. The last time he had felt that ease and comfort in those sounds. He wished he could get that again. He wished for times when the music that came from the big statuesque in the room could heal all aches and make the world seem beautiful for that moment. The same music sheets were spread above. He couldn't help but keep his eyes trained on them. That song, her lullaby was the last song he had played. Ever since, Music too had failed him- just like Life and Time had. He would never hear that lullaby being hummed by her as he played it for her again. 'Halo ' , the sheets read. She was gone but in that moment as he hung above the piano nostalgically, her halo guided him back to Music and back to her. Back to himself....

Every tear a waterfall  In the night the stormy night  she'll close her eyes  In the night the stormy night  away she'd fly  And dreams of  Para-para-paradise  Para-para-paradise  Para-para-paradise  She closed her eyes and tried to block out the voices. Those screaming outside and those in her head asking her to flee. She tried not to give in to the voices in her head- the voices that told her to go back to the numbness. Just so she didn't have to deal with the voices outside screaming in agony. She didn't like the darkness that the numbness brought with itself with it. However, the voices outside were tearing at her insides. She decided to listen to the ones in her mind, thinking that they knew which suffering was better. She opened the drawer beside her bed and took out a vial of liquid from it. As she reverted back to her old ways of coping, her body slowly grew limp as her mind gave way to the uncertain vagueness. Ever so s...

Helloo again! Okay so me and Ice Maiden, my fellow blogger  (we had kinda coerced each other into starting blogging) were suddenly really fascinated with the idea of guest posts so we did one for each other's blogs. My first guest post, which is pretty great, is Ice Maiden's view about blogging and writing. Here it goes: Coherent ramblings in digital view, To old school-diaries we bid adieu. From wise-old sayings to crazy rants, Everything under the sun it has. From anger outbursts and paradise dreaming, To weepy poems and guilty confessing Here words gain a peculiar sophistication Even immoral shit is given due consideration Diverse opinions bonded as a family, Blogosphere functions with benedictions from the almighty A brilliant source to express in public, And venture out in the world, open ended. Eons of talent still waiting to be read To acceptance of great potential, they lead. Challenges on our threshold, such is our creed Ends with imaginary swagger, not gr...